From the Cheap Seats: The Obama-Putin Partnership

March 26, 2012

President Obama and his counterpart, Russian ruler Vladimir Putin

Pity Vladimir Putin.

The guy kicks butt in the Committee for State Security — which we in the United States know as the KGB of the Soviet Union.  The USSR takes a swan dive in 1991 and Vlad manages not only to survive, but to prosper.  He sheds the whole secret-agent deal and emerges as a politician only interested in Mother Russia. He even goes hunting bare-chested to divert attention from some potentially unwholesome incidents that could be misinterpreted.

Our friend Vlad then engineers a little Russian magic with Dmitri Medvedev for a swap of the presidency.

Vlad wants to shepherd Mother Russia to the world dominance she deserves, under his leadership, of course. One thing standing in the way, though, is that the United States has more warheads (the old Soviet Union had to endure the indignity of seeing its nukes turned into someone else’s electricity).

Vlad just wants a little parity.  But how to get it? It’s not as though Americans are dumb enough to disarm themselves, right?

Then along came Barack Obama.  And, as it turns out, Mr. Obama wants a little parity too.  If ever there was proof to Vlad that God is a Russian, Barack Obama is it.

And then after that came Monday, when America’s Nobel Prize winning, self-proclaimed genius told his ol’ pal Medvedev that he wanted to cooperate, but that damn election business was in the way.

“This is my last election,” Obama told Medvedev. “After my election, I have more flexibility.”

The KGB agent that still lives in Putin must have recoiled when he heard that Obama wasn’t smart enough to make sure his premature concessions weren’t caught on tape.

If Obama was smart – a proposition deeply in doubt – he’d avoid visiting Russia anytime soon.  But we’ve heard rumos that Mr. Putin plans to invite Obama to visit the sunny beaches and swaying palms of the tropical Siberian Riviera this winter.

No reason to think Obama won’t take his pal Vlad up on it.

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