From the Cheap Seats: Mayan Armageddon Delayed

May 13, 2012
By
Mananetwork / Foter

All that stuff about how the Mayans foresaw the end of the world, believed primarily it seems, by atheists and freethinkers and Hollywood types hooked on hokum, can now be summarily dismissed as, yup, hokum.

A new version of the Mayan calendar hidden all these years on a wall in deep in the jungles of  Guatemala depicts a far different scenario than the cheapo tourist version that calls for the end of the earth on Dec. 21, 2012, or just in time to fire up Christmas shopping.

The newly discovered calendar is painted black and red (Seriously, does no one not see that the Mayans invented roulette?) is suggested to be a reference chart for the astronomers and mathematicians who populated the Mayan poobah’s court.

Proving that no hyperbole shall go unhyped, David Stuart, an archaeologist who helped decipher the calendar, said it is the Energizer Bunny of calendars.

“The Mayan calendar is going to keep going for billions, trillions, octillions of years into the future,” Stuart  said. “Numbers we can’t even wrap our heads around.”

Please, no one introduce Indiana Stuart to Tim Geithner or, Heaven forbid, President Obama.

Stuart at least has done us the service of destroying the notion that the Mayans were all that.

Now, where do we find the clown who gave us “2012” the movie?  We’ve got a couple ancient Mayans with deity-propitiation issues we’d like him to meet.

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