From the Cheap Seats: Damon Cashes In on Anti-Frack Flick Bankrolled by UAE

January 3, 2013
By

MIDDLE EAST MOUTHPIECE: Daaaamon is busy vilifying fracking on the dime of the United Arab Emirates.

When you have a fraudulent tale based on current superstition backed by a desperate band of former nomads who can see the writing in the sand, or the shale, as it happens, to whom do you do look to sell the fertilizer?

None other than Maaaaatt Daaaamon, as Team America knows him.

The story Daaaamon is trying to sell is that hydraulic fracturing is really bad and the people who do it are even worse. That’s the theme of Daaaamon’s new flick, “Promised Land.”

While Daaaamon is busy vilifying fracking, he’s doing so on the dime of the United Arab Emirates.

You read that right. Maaatt Daaaamon is being bankrolled by the big bad bullies of the fossil-fuels business.

Anyone with a sense of irony would liken this to Jason Bourne budding up to Arkadin, or Frodo getting annuities from Mordor, Inc.

One would have reason to question the motives of Mordor, or this case, the Emirates.

Unless one were Damon, of course. Suddenly the prospect easy money turned our faux Bourne into Jerry McGuire, and he couldn’t be happier to see the money.

And what would the emirates want from their investment?

Well, they’re not interested in an Oscar. They want to raise doubt about fracking, though.

And they know a sucker is Bourne every minute.

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