From the Cheap Seats: Kerry’s Exodus to Egypt

March 5, 2013
By

Kerry arrival in Egypt coincided with that of a swarm of locusts

Oh, no, he’s no Moses.  Secretary of State John Kerry thinks he’s the Easter Bunny, though.

The erstwhile senator from Massachusetts, who has long hoped to tour the world via public transportation and is now living the dream, cuddled up up for a couple hours with Mohamed Morsi in Egypt and gave his new Muslim Brotherhood bro’ a cool $250 million because Kerry was assured that elections would be conducted fairly. Feel free to suppress snort here.

Kerry most likely considered himself the new Moses because his arrival coincided with that of a  swarm of locusts, kind of like that whole Exodus thing.

While Kerry was palling around with Morsi, Egyptian Agricultural Minister Salah Abdel Moamen calmed his fellow Egyptians by saying that the locusts damaged no crops and assured them that new arrivals were “sexually immature and do not depend on plants for energy since they mainly rely on fat stores.”

That surprised Cheap Seats because Bob Menendez’ presence on the Kerry junket had gone unmentioned by the press, but no matter, he should fit right in.

Kerry began his junket by inventing the nation of “Kyrzakhstan,” evidently trying to demonstrate that “Borat” was the norm rather than the exception when it comes to American conduct abroad.

And this is just the beginning of the Kerry tenure, earning him an early “Mr. Country-Inventing,  Locust-Attracting, Moneybomb guy,” a Real Dem of Genius.

Cheap Seats is certain there are many more such recognitions in Kerry’s future.

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