From the Cheap Seats: The Hicking of Rural Colorado

May 9, 2013

Front  Range liberals run the Legislature, and the reality is that rural interests have been given short shrift

The Denver Post has deigned to inform the rough but adorable folk of  Colorado’s hinterlands that Gov. John Hickenlooper is really their BFF.

The Post, always eager to employ one of those clever twists sure to amuse the sophisticated readers on 17th Street and around Washington Park while simultaneously going over the low-sloping foreheads in Delta, Meeker, Brush and  Alamosa, cleverly titled the piece by Alicia Caldwell, “Hickenlooper vs. the hicks? Hardly.”

Hey, some Post genius must have thought, the hicks might know what condescension is, but they sure as hell can’t spell it.

FWIW, Denver Post, Cheap Seats, which has been known to take up occasional residence in the hinterlands, knows what alliteration is, and Cheap Seats not only knows condescension when it swims into view, we can indeed spell it.

Let’s consider  the merits of the piece, however, which begins with the bashing of a straw man, notwithstanding the decidedly rural roots of straw.

“It’s a plot, you see, by Front Range liberals who elevate their own political views on the need to develop renewable energy and sensible gun regulations above the realities of country living.”

“To be blunt, it’s a canard. A ruse. A political construction designed to drive wedges between Coloradans,” Caldwell helpfully instructs.

Oddly, she neglected to mention having wool pulled over rural eyes.

To be blunt, then, Front  Range liberals actually do run the Legislature. And by definition, a legislative session is a series of plots. It’s how a bill becomes a law. And the reality is that rural interests (See what Cheap Seats did there? It’s called alliteration, just like they use at the Post) have been given short shrift , which is not to say they are alone.

Let’s go back to the Post’s straw man, which is predicated on the supposed threat of anthropogenic global warming and the beneficial effects of gun control.

Interestingly, it has come to the attention of Cheap Seats that the globe’s temperature hasn’t budged so much as an nth of a degree in two decades. Hicks know that because they follow the comments of the Meteorological Office of the United Kingdom and James Hansen, a high priest of the Church of Global Warming, who have confessed to consternation, not to mention dismay, at the revelation.

Perhaps that news hasn’t penetrated the heavy walls and concertina wire surrounding the Denver Post, but maybe that’s just a reflection of the decidedly rural expectation that a newspaper would be interested in publishing news. Certainly that expectation doesn’t conform to  urban perception as typified by the Post.

Even the most ardent supporters of gun-control measures passed by the Front Range liberals who run the Legislature – Cheap Seats is under the impression that the speaker of the House is a Democrat from Denver and the Senate president is a Colorado Springs Democrat, but perhaps the Post knows better – have conceded that the measures they passed would have done nothing to prevent  the Aurora or Connecticut horrors. Oh, and some guy named Hickenlooper signed them.

Cheap Seats is also under the impression that Hickenlooper  is a Denver Democrat who never saw an urban vote-buying progam he couldn’t resist, especially if rural interests could be stuck with the bill.  Yes, Cheap Seats is talking about legislation requiring a boost in the renewable energy standard for rural electrical cooperatives.

The Post can kid itself all it likes about its deep and abiding interest in what’s good for the heathens, but the heathens know power politics when they see it, no matter how much the Post wants to pander and paper it over.

Yes, that’s more alliteration. Here’s hoping it makes you happy.

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