From the Cheap Seats: Time to Update a Few State Symbols?

October 10, 2013
STATE FOSSIL?  Cheap Seats thinks Senate Democrat Leader Rollie Heath could give the stegosaurus a run for its money

STATE FOSSIL? Cheap Seats thinks Senate Democrat Leader Rollie Heath could give the stegosaurus a run for its money

Cheap Seats has noticed that the Democrats who run the state Senate have divvied up their jobs, picking a Senate President and so on, and that gave us an idea.

The Dems aren’t exactly known for taking on serious issues. They like misguided and quixotic crusades, such as banning hydraulic fracturing, which by the way, would drive heating costs for the low-income Coloradans they profess to care so much about.

They want to repeal the death penalty too – and who can forget their obsession with passing that raft of misguided and unconstitutional gun control bills.  You know, the ones that cost John Morse and Angela Giron their cushy jobs.

They also like raising prices on rural types so they can buy urban votes.

It’s all a game.

So here’s the Cheap Seats’ suggestion for a more honest game, one the Senate leadership can sink its teeth into.

Colorado has several state this’ and that’s — such a state flower and a state animal.  Cheap Seats thinks that it might be time to add a few new ones, and update a some of the old.

Take the state fossil — the stegosaurus.  A more accurate choice, it seems to Cheap Seats, would be Rollie Heath, the Boulder Dem (but we repeat ourselves) who may have once run for governor and now is the Majority Leader of the state Senate.

Heath never saw a tax he didn’t want to raise, a freedom he didn’t want to restrict, or a vote he didn’t try to buy with more welfare spending.  He’s a paleoDem – put differently, Colorado’s real state dinosaur.

Then we have Morgan Carroll, the new Senate president. In her spare time, Carroll represents “injured” workers who sue their employers in workers compensation cases.  That’s not bad in and of itself, but Carroll thinks she’s above surveillance, or at least her clients are.

The Colorado Haristreak butterfly is the state’s insect, but it seems to Cheap Seats that Carroll is a better choice, what with her comfort around manure and, well, bloodsuckers.  Morgan Carroll, Colorado state insect.

But there’s one more state symbol, one for which one Senate Dem is uniquely qualified.

This candidate made headlines by ridiculing a rape victim who had the audacity to tell her elected officials that it might have been nice to be able to defend herself from her attacker with a firearm.  Then candidate then went to a hearing devoted to the problems in the state corrections system that led to the murders of a pizza delivery man and the head of the department, Tom Clements.

Our multitasking mental midget spent the session gabbing on Facebook and tweeting on a variety of topics, some having to do with the matter at hand, the rest not so much.  She checked out a pic of Patrick Swayze, of “Ghost” fame, and weighed in on Obamacare, paintings and yoga.

Odd that she didn’t spend any time thinking about safety for women on campuses in danger of being raped, but maybe Cheap Seats is demanding too much.

But it’s clear that there a clear favorite for the next state symbol:  Evie Hudak, Colorado’s State Embarrassment.

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