From the Cheap Seats: White House Postage Stamp Safety

October 15, 2013
The Postal Service is set destroy a series of stamps that depict kids exercising without helmets

The Postal Service is set destroy a series of stamps that depict kids exercising without helmets (USPS image)

It’s not Spy vs. Spy because at least Mad Magazine is funny.  But in the real world, it’s do-gooders vs. do-gooders.  In this case, the losers are, well, does Cheap Seats have to tell you?

It started with the inevitable suck-up by the U.S. Postal Service to Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative.

Funny, Cheap Seats can’t seem to remember the Postal Service paying homage to Laura Bush’s literacy efforts. Maybe that attitude explains the Postal Service’s financial vicissitudes, but that’s neither here nor there. Cheap Seats’ first rule of sucking up to narcissists: At least do it right.

The Postal Service failed in that regard when it printed up (the squeamish might want to avert their eyes) stamps depicting a skateboarder shredding without knee pads (Horrors!) a kid doing a handstand without a helmet and a third cannonballing into the water.

No explanation as to why the little darlins’ weren’t protectively encased in bubble wrap.

Well, do-gooders can’t abide that kind of reckless behavior.

What if some impressionable kiddie were to lick a stamp depicting a kid doing a handstand without a helmet? Next thing, you’ve got concussive brain damage, emotional problems and before you know it, you’ve have to sign the kid up for Obamacare and hope the Independent Physicians Advisory Board decides to keep him alive.

So the only thing to do was to destroy the stamps lest the Postal Service be responsible for a wave of pediatric horror stories. Just the thing for the plaintiffs bar, of course, so all the more reason to destroy the stamps.

Cheap Seats has to wonder, given the disastrous rollout of Obamacare this month and the outright silliness of Let’s Move stamp campaign that wasn’t, do Americans really want to give these clownish do-gooders stethoscopes and hypodermic syringes?

No telling.

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One Response to From the Cheap Seats: White House Postage Stamp Safety

  1. Bob Terry
    October 15, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    Wow if you look at all the stamps…where is the protection … even the “Cannonball” was deemed inappropriate… Since I did cannonballs as a youth a million years ago..and unprotected. I have resorted to wearing a goalie mask and possessing and idling chainsaw, here lemme turn this off so I can type…

    Send Ol barrack and michelle the bill..since she was so “inclusive” in its design..if they are destroyed…Maybe they can include national Chess Week in this boondoggle as well..a helmet and protective gloves to prevent brain injury and finger ingury..

    Goes to show ..Do as we say not as we do …we know so much better than you anyways.. and Mommy make em stop and everyones a so much better than what is going on now.. I may never lick a stamp again without tongue protection..Got to love this crap ..oops don’t e coli


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