From the Cheap Seats: The Cañon City Kiss

December 11, 2013
By
The deep thinkers in Cañon City seem to be mixing Victorianism with modern-day zero tolerance

The deep thinkers in Cañon City seem to be mixing a cocktail of stuffy Victorianism and modern-day zero tolerance

Cheap Seats would have expected the deep thinkers at Lincoln School of Science and Technology in Cañon City to be a bit more ingenious, but it turns out that they’re wedded to tired, old Victorianism mixed with modern-day zero tolerance.

Pity Hunter Yelton, a 6-year-old first grader who the deep thinkers saw fit to suspend because he gave his girlfriend an affectionate gesture.  That’s right, a smooch-related suspension.

“It was during class, yeah. We were doing reading group, and I leaned over and kissed her on the hand. That’s what happened,” young Hunter told KRDO-TV.  Horrors!

The district superintendent, Robin Gooldy, said Hunter had transgressed against district codes.  Seems the boy was suspended because of a policy against unwanted touching.  That despite a lack of complaint from he object of Hunter’s affections.

“The focus needs to be on his behavior. We usually try to get the student to stop, but if it continues, we need to take action and it sometimes rises to the level of suspension,” Gooldy said.

What, Cheap Seats wonders, will happen if the “lesson” of suspension doesn’t work? Expulsion? Five to 10 in the big house, which  happens to be conveniently located in Cañon City?  Or maybe the best idea would have been to simply let it go.

Hard as it is to imagine, Hunter’s little display was no big deal. It should have been treated at such. The kid’s 6. He would have moved on.

Sadly Gooldy seems trapped in a world even less mature than Hunter’s.

Cheap Seats hopes that in his next job, and Gooldy should be smart enough to start looking, he might consider something more aligned to his particular talents.  Perhaps a job guarding the trinket machine at Elitch’s, or better yet a position with the Transportation Security Administration.  The sky’s the limit for a man of his judgment.

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