From the Cheap Seats: British Bash Beans

April 11, 2014

Seems that the climate-change chumps across the pond have come up with a half-baked theory that global warming is the result of what can only be described as the result of, shall we say, dropped roses?

The Members of Parliament, known for its deep insight, has concluded that the cause of climate change is, wait for it — beans.

Chili, kidney, lima, even the seemingly innocent garbanzo — no bean is without blemish in the harsh view of the Brits.

“Smelly emissions,” as Viscount Simon of the House of Lords calls it, seem to be major contributors to the plague of global warming, Simon observed during a parliamentary debate.

“You actually do raise an important point, which is we do need to moderate our behavior,” Simon was told by Baroness Verma, who will never be confused with Sir Francis Drake, even though beans seem to be the modern equivalent of the Spanish Armada.

Cheap Seats would normally take little notice of the meanderings of the British aristocracy, but southwest Colorado has enough problems without Limeys dissing a major Colorado agricultural product, even if it does seem to let Bessie the cow off the hook.

Seems to Cheap Seats that the Church of Global Warming might be more accurately known as the Flat(ulence) Earth Society.

Comments made by visitors are not representative of The Colorado Observer staff.

2 Responses to From the Cheap Seats: British Bash Beans

  1. Bob Terry
    April 11, 2014 at 9:56 am

    Well there goes the refritos , all Tex Mex and northern New Mexico dishes, all for global warming. I think human excrement should be banned as well. But seems that the “elites” in the House of Lords, know out goofy Democrats. Maybe we can get a Global UN “Crap” Tax instituted … Yeah the liberals etc, have lost their collective minds. Obama, and Udall are probably with is…Princess Diana too, after she fixes the auto industry.

  2. Tony's Beard
    April 14, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Just what I’d expect from a bunch of morons full of hot air


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