Cheap Seats: Aiming for EPA’s Toilet Seats

June 30, 2014
By

The sanctimonious charlatans at the Environmental Protection Agency – those halfwits who insist that Americans are fouling the global nest by generating electricity — really don’t get the “fouling the nest” stuff.

Seems as though the higher-ups have had to send out a memo to the underlings in the Denver Region 8 office telling them that it was unseemly to poop in the hallways.

Yes, you read that right.

EPA types have been dropping trou and doing business in a government office building public area, not in the sumptuous taxpayer-funded facilities.

It’s almost as if these charmers are part of the Occupy movement. Emphasis on “movement.”

Actually, we’re talking about a band of self-righteous, pampered zealots who have never been required to comport themselves like everyone else. But we repeat ourselves.

It can’t be terribly surprising that one of them would consider a hallway angle a “Pooh’s Corner” if it happened to be convenient.

Management, writes Deputy Director Howard Cantor, “is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals.”

Somehow we doubt that Cantor and Co. will ever get to the bottom of this scandal.

But thanks to the news website Government Executive there’s no papering this over.

Government Executive noted that the EPA had to consult with a “workplace violence” expert who confirmed that fecal matter left in the hallways constituted as a health and safety risk.

Yes, someone had to actually tell the EPA that pooping in the hallways is bad for their environment.

In fact, the consultant used the phrase “very dangerous” and said the miscreants would probably escalate their activities.

There’s no telling how low those EPA nest-foulers will stoop.

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