Cheap Seats: Pesky Volcanoes Melt Global Warming Theory

June 23, 2014

Antarctica is doing something strange — it’s both shrinking and growing.

It was only a few months ago in January that 52 scientists — and we use the word advisedly — were looking for proof of global warming when they found themselves trapped in rapidly expanding ice.

Uproarious as the image of hard-bitten climate warriors trapped in deep ice might be, what’s truly disturbing is that the “scientists” actually had a point. Sort of.

While they were looking up to find proof that global warming is caused by humans just trying to heat themselves and fire up some electricity, the “scientists” should have been looking down.

Turns out that Antarctica is indeed melting — because of volcanoes hidden below the ice, boiling water and slowly eating away at the ice cover to such an extent that only highly trained, hard-working, grant-dependent “scientists” could miss it.

The volcanic activity beneath Antarctica leaps to mind as Sen. Mark Udall is campaigning to hold onto his spot at the public trough by complaining loudly about “global warming.”

It apparently escaped Udall’s notice that it’s been snowing recently in the high country of Colorado and Utah, defying the supposed trend of global warming. And many East Coasters on Sunday celebrated the first day of summer, wearing sweaters.

Then there’s that pesky pause in warming trends for the past 20 years. That’s right, the globe’s temp hasn’t budged in two decades.

However, it hasn’t escaped the notice of Cheap Seats that the Udall household hauled in $250 large last year by taking advantage of gullible people with thick wallets.

Not that Udall has noticed those highly technical details — meaning the size of the wallets.

Only a trained politico dependent on a certain patter could miss volcanoes and level temperatures. Or one whose family income depended on it.

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