Cheap Seats: Bad Moonbeam on the Rise

July 22, 2014
By

There once was a time that the governor of California was automatically considered a presidential contender, what with being the top dog in the nation’s most populous state and all.

A procession of ne’er-do-wells and charlatans — we’re talking to you, Gray Davis and “Aahhnuld” — have tended of late to cloud that basic political reality.

But now fundamentals are reasserting themselves and that can only mean Gov. Moonbeam is trying to muscle in on the presidential action.

And indeed, Gov. Jerry Brown is making it known that Dems ought not limit themselves to those who have failed upward in the past — Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren leap to mind — when he is so readily available.

Does Bayer even make enough aspirin to deal with that quadruple-threat headache?

Brown, having papered over what remains of the California economy with mounting debt, has led a quixotic effort to build a high-speed train to Sin City so his entitlement-loving constituents can continue enriching a neighboring state with their EBT cards.

What could possibly go wrong with expanding that scenario nationally?

He’s made no effort to increase the water supply to a state that is perpetually in drought, perhaps because he figures he could sweet-talk that rube in Colorado — What’s his name, Hickenlooper? — into dumping more water into the Golden State via that well-known conduit, the Colorado River.

This is something other than a comforting prospect up in the Cheap Seats.

After all, why should Californians stop watering their lawns when Hickenlooper can provide them water, and benefit himself in the process?

Hickenlooper, whose aspirations are clearly not limited to running a bar in LoDo again, will be unable to resist Gov. Moonbeam’s demands, given all the electoral votes he controls.

Brown wants to be president, Hickenlooper doesn’t want to be a stumbling block for Brown’s ambitions, at least not yet, especially when Hickenlooper thinks he might get himself a first-class seat on the Moonbeam Express instead.

But here in the Cheap Seats, it’s clear that there’s a bad moonbeam on the rise.

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